No, the recent finding that beer is healthy could not have been greeted as good news by those lovers of the grape. For some time now, the French have been even more self-satisfied than usual, as their wine-drinking way of life was found not only to be culinarily superior, but healthier, too. Those studies supported what the French already knew: The French are smarter than the rest of us. And better-looking. And cooler. And, all right, you get the idea.

Now along comes new research suggesting that not only may beer be good for you, it may be even better for you than wine. I would imagine that, when they heard about this, a few sacré bleus were heard around Burgundy.

Actually, the French, being French, and therefore secure in their superiority, probably took the news better than did residents of wine-growing regions elsewhere. You can be sure that there was gnashing of Cabernet Sauvignon-reddened teeth in Napa Valley: "Dude? D'jyou hear about that beer study? Bogus."

In suds-loving Australia, where wine still takes a backseat to the brew of choice, a vintner might have been heard to grouse, "Healthy beer drinkers - Australian for wine blight."

But I have come across yet another groundbreaking study that might cheer up wine enthusiasts worldwide. British researchers have found that alcohol makes the opposite sex more attractive.

As they say in the halls of Oxford, "Ya think?"