I love the stuff. Can’t get enough of it. To me, the only problem is that it is being diluted by too many varieties. Cool guacamole and honey BBQ and cooler ranch (not just cool, but cooler) only diminish the true essence of the thing.

What got me thinking about the out-of-handness of munchies was that great American institution, the Super Bowl.

More than any other sporting event, the Super Bowl represents perhaps the pinnacle of human achievement. No, I’m not talking here of the speed, grace, and power of superbly conditioned athletes in competition with one another. I’m talking about the effortless ability of guys across the globe who are united as one in their recliners, remotes in hand, devouring one fried, artery-clogging morsel after another.

When you think of it that way, the Super Bowl is like one big planetary campfire.

Let’s all sing: Kumbaya. (Chomp.) Kumbayaaaa. (Chomp.)

But salt-free, baked, extra-crispy, red-hot corn chips???

The folks over at Justice can come get me for saying this, but enough is enough!

People — freedom isn’t just a right, it’s a responsibility.