We take a look at the coming month’s movies and make it easy for you.
By Zac Crain
Who: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy
What: The search is on for a new king, and Shrek and his ever-growing posse decide — like every woman under the age of 100 — that Justin Timberlake is the best choice. Figures.
Why: You’re tired of seeing animated films about penguins.
Who: Andy Samberg, Ian McShane, Sissy Spacek
What: A daredevil working with a slight handicap (he’s accident-prone) tries to win over his tough new stepdad by channeling Evel Knievel and then jumping Snake River — on his moped.
Why: You like Samberg’s digital shorts on Saturday Night Live and/or you’re a fan of his comedy troupe of filmmakers, the Lonely Island.
Who: Kim Basinger, Nick Cannon, Kelsey Grammer
What: Gambling is bad. That’s pretty much it for this flick, which wants to be to casinos what Traffic was to drugs — only it’s not very, you know, good.
Why: You like going to see every movie that is released.
Who: Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd
What: From Judd Apatow, the man behind The 40-Year-Old Virgin, comes this comedy about a serious journalist (Heigl) and a less serious slacker (Rogen) who become an unlikely couple and even less likely parents.
Why: You liked Rogen in Virgin and on TV’s Freaks and Geeks and always hoped he’d get to carry his own movie.
Who: Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Dane Cook
What: Costner is a mild-mannered family man who also happens to be a serial killer. Moore is the detective on his trail. Cook hopefully ends up somewhere in the cross fire.
Why: You’re somehow still a Costner fan and are hoping he gets his fastball back.
Who: Parker Posey, Jeff Goldblum, Saffron Burrows
What: Director Hal Hartley follows up his 1997 dramedy, Henry Fool, with this peculiar sequel, in which the security of the United States is threatened by some missing journals. Or is it?
Why: You’re a devoted Hartley (Flirt) or Posey (For Your Consideration) fan. Or an independent-film fan in general.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Who: Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp
What: Look, I didn’t really understand the second installment in the Pirates series. But I still loved it. I’m betting the same applies here.
Why: Come on. You’re going.