Uncut Currency
Cash is an inappropriate gift - unless it comes in uncut sheets of bills. Hey, Melania, The Donald will love this. Uncut currency sheets, $15-$899, www.moneyfactory.com

  • Image about Katherine Leather Brody
The BlackBerry 7100t

His boss will never know those seamless calls and e-mails are coming from the golf course. Then again, you'll never know, either. $200, plus monthly service agreement, (800) 866-2453, www.blackberry.com

Opening Photo Credits:
Photograph by Tim Boole
Wardrobe provided by Neiman Marcus.
Models: Maggie Parks/Kim Dawson Agency,
John Young/The Campbell Agency
Hair and Makeup by Jeanna Doyle
Styling by Janet Rosell

(gifts you should never give her)
Any form of anti-aging product. She may complain about wrinkles, but, in presenting her with evidence of maturing skin, you have paved the way down that slippery slope known as Botox Blvd.

Fragrance. Unless it is a replacement for one that she loves, there's no way that your untrained schnoz can tell the difference between bergamot and bug spray. Instead, try a gift certificate to her favorite boutique and let her pick out her own.

An unsolicited gym membership.
This "gift" tells her that she is, effectively, overweight. You will curse your offering as meals are systematically reduced to variations of iceberg lettuce, and prepping for a night out involves 19 outfit changes all prefaced by the annoying refrain: "Do I look fat?"

Lingerie. Get real guys. Lingerie can only be considered a proper gift when it is a sidebar to a sexy Caribbean weekend retreat.

(gifts you should never give him)

A pet. Yes, so cute. But pets produce waste. Do you want to be associated with that waste?