In fact, James is about to let loose on the buffet lines in Honolulu, Hawaii. He's flying there for the Sony Open, a weeklong con fab of Sony executives and its stars that involves lots of golf and even more parties. It's part business, part pleasure, but all fun. "Adam Sandler goes every year," says James. "Will Smith is going this year. You know, you get to think you're family."

"So I guess you can't go too wild with all those studio suits around, right?" I ask.

"Are you kidding me?" he laughs. "They're the ones leading it! They're crazy. There are no shirts and ties there. It's really loose and relaxed and everybody has a blast."

Merrymaking aside, when I begin quizzing James about the site of the event, I quickly realize that the Hawaiian capital is one subject he could stand to buff up on.

When I ask him for specifics about what he does and where he goes there, the bravado fades and he goes into the all-too-familiar "I can't quite remember" or "I'll get you the names later." He remembers things, sure, but in fragments, like a restaurant whose food he loved but whose name - "two guy's names" - he can't recall. But while some stars would merely say "You look it up," Kevin James wants to participate. "I'd love to talk to you after I win the golf tournament this week," he says. "I can give you so much more information when I'm there. I just want to be right on this stuff."

So we strike a deal: He'll call me from Hawaii as his vacation progresses. That way, I tell him, our readers can truly experience Honolulu with Kevin James. "Call anytime, day or night," I say. "I stay up late and get up early."

Friday, 2:34 a.m.
Mark, hey, it's Kevin James. How are you? I just finished a lovely dinner at Hoku's, which is in the Kahala Mandarin Oriental hotel, after playing 27 holes of golf today. I walked 27 holes and we won the tournament, my friend, which means I won a ukulele. Seriously, that's what first prize was. Second prize was a clock. No, third place was a clock, and second place was a salad bowl. But I won first place, a ukulele. Take that to the bank. [He strums the strings.] See, that's my ukulele. I'll be in touch a little later and give you more information. Oh, I found some Hawaiian music. They gave me a CD. It's called Makaha Sons of Ni'Ihua.

Uh, ah, let me grab a pen and get the spelling of that …

More to come.