First of all, I know the names of my children, except sometimes the baby's. Second of all, your question gives me a good idea. Become a circus juggler. Next question.
Here are the spots that score points with Homer Simpson when he’s home in Springfield.
The Frying Dutchman Seafood Restaurant (seafood, moderate)
Moe’s Tavern (inexpensive)
Sir Putts-A-Lot Merrie Olde
South Street Squidport
Would you say Springfield is a good place to raise a family?
It's the best. It's the lowest point in the state, so all the lost balls roll down to us.
You're quite a traveler. You've been all over the world - Washington, D.C.; Ngorongoro, Tanzania; Toronto, Canada; even Itchy & Scratchy Land. What is it about Springfield that makes you keep coming back
This little baby here: a court-ordered ankle bracelet. It gives me a shock if I'm out of the area for more than a week.
You once faced off against a tricky cat burglar. And Sideshow Bob once tried to flood the town. Is Springfield a safe place to visit now?
It's very safe … between January 22 and January 24. Otherwise, stay away. I'm warning you.
Are there any special places you like to retreat to, just by yourself?
I like the quiet peace inside the sliced-meat cooler at the Kwik-E-Mart.
There is a lake and a river and what seems to be an oceanfront in Springfield. There's also a gorge, a national forest, a mountain range, a glacier, and the Alkali Flats, known as the Springfield Badlands. What do you make of the city's amazingly diverse topography?
I've crashed my car into all of them. Once, I even did it sober.
Speaking of the ocean, do you have a favorite beach in Springfield?
Springfield's famous nude beach. But how come I'm always the only guy who's nude there?
You're clearly a man who enjoys a good meal. You must have some favorite restaurants. Where do you go for breakfast?
For a casual breakfast, nothing beats the friendly atmosphere of Flanders's kitchen before he wakes up.