Second of all, they're not warriors. Not in the Sun Tzu sense, preparing strategies for battle against various opponents. They are preparing strategies for battle against various colleagues.

Then there is the origin of the term. It derives from the 1982 movie The Road Warrior. The flick takes place in a world where fuel is outlandishly expensive and edible food is scarce. That is not at all like the state of modern airline travel.

So, again, I say, why this particular moniker?

It is dehumanizing. Road warrior. It makes the traveling businessperson seem less and yet more at the same time, but, in any case, other than truly human, with that most basic human desire: a yearning for home.

And so I propose we get cracking to help the road warrior feel more at home while he's away from it. How? Through the use of modern technology, of course.

Through a replication of the five senses, we can re-create an atmosphere reminiscent of home. Let me give you some examples.

Eau de Home. The clean scent of fresh sheets and newly vacuumed rooms gets insufferable. The lonely road warrior should carry an aerosol spray can to mist his hotel room with the homey aroma of old laundry, teenage beauty products, and baby vomit. It would be just like you'd never left!

The Singing House. Rather than having to suffer through some symphony in Prague or endure the peace and quiet that comes with being by oneself, road warriors should be provided software tailored to their particular home environment: cries of squalling babies, raging teenagers, arguing spouses. Nothing quite says home like yellin' and hollerin'.