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Chicken wings and nachos? Surely you can do better than that.

On February 7, about 76,000 people will squeeze into Land Shark Stadium in Miami for Super Bowl XLIV. The rest of us will celebrate America’s favorite unofficial national holiday in somewhat lesser circumstances.

But we don’t have to. With a little planning (and an American Express Centurion card), anybody can throw a Super Bowl party for 50 that’s worthy of a Roman emperor.

May we suggest:

Football without cheerleaders is like eating a pastrami sandwich without mustard — what’s the point? For your party, renting the world-famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (DCC) for a few hours is a must. “ I’d design a guest-arrival line that replicates the player line seen at Cowboys games,” says Kelli Finglass, director of the DCC. “It’s a long tunnel of cheerleaders and an endless line of smiles and pom-poms. Definitely gets you the ‘wow factor’ at the door.” In addition to performances before the game, during commercial breaks, and at halftime — including the DCC trademark kick line — you’d also get several photo stations with instant printing capabilities so you can prove that you’ve been in the presence of cheerleader perfection, as well as a goody bag complete with a DCC swimsuit calendar.
Cost: About $50,000 for the entire squad and a manager

Emeril has been a season-ticket holder for the New Orleans Saints for 25 years, and the man certainly knows how to cook. His combined love for food and sports is on display at the new Lagasse’s Stadium at the Palazzo Las Vegas. Rent Luxury Box 3 and you’ll get a sunken living room, a 109-inch high-def TV, a DJ with turntables, and a massage table — plus catering with unlimited food, a carving station, and a private open bar.
Cost: About $40,000. 
Click here to see the Super Bowl menu and recipes that Emeril chose exclusively for AW readers.

Don’t bother picking up any ol’ six-pack on sale. Instead, try the Trappist Westvleteren 12 that’s brewed by Trappist monks at the abbey of Saint Sixtus of Westvleteren in Belgium. Keep in mind that you have to reserve it in advance and pick it up in Belgium in person.
Cost: 3,800 euros for a 24-bottle crate. Or, roughly $5,547.

Arkeg bills itself as the perfect union of beer and video games. We simply believe that it’s undeniable proof that American ingenuity is unparalleled across the universe. Arkeg is a full-size arcade console that comes with 69 preloaded video games. Its base has a temperature-controlled compartment and a hookup for your favorite keg of beer. www.drinkngame.com
Cost: $4,000 and up (depending on accessories)

For the red lover, a bottle of 2006 Masseto Merlot from Tuscany’s Tenuta dell’Ornellaia winery (Wine Spectator gave it 98 points) is the perfect way to show you have class even though you have chicken wing sauce under your fingernails. For the white lover, former United States Ambassador to Austria Kathryn Hall recommends a bottle of her 2008 Hall Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc. And if you can’t trust an ex-ambassador, who can you trust?
Cost: Masseto, $400; Hall Napa Valley, $20

Aerosmith is more than willing to turn up the decibels loud enough to ensure a record fine by your homeowner’s association.
Cost: $1 million

Sure, Al Michaels of Monday Night Football fame will come to your party. So will sports broadcaster Bob Costas or former Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher, says Playing Field Promotions, which specializes in booking big-name sports figures for private events.
Cost: Michaels, $30,001 to $50,000; Costas, $50,001 and up; Cowher, $30,001 to $50,000

Your party needs some high-wattage guests to balance out all the average Joes in attendance. Invite Justin Timberlake, Beyoncé, or William Shatner (yes, Captain Kirk himself). They’re not cheap, so you shouldn’t be.
Cost: Timberlake, $1 million and up; Beyoncé, $500,000 to $1 million; Shatner, $50,000 to $100,000

Has the recession taken a bite out of your entertainment budget? Consider Jerry Mathers (Leave it to Beaver), William Hung (American Idol), or the Deal or No Deal models.
Cost: Mathers, $5,000 to $10,000; Hung, $2,500 to $5,000; Deal models, $500 to $1,000