Columnists, you see, are a lot like rock stars. Except without the talent. Or the chicks. Or the big money. Or the swimming pool. Or the giant house. Or the … okay, the point is that, as the ’70s band Bachman-Turner Overdrive put it in its classic song “Takin’ Care of Business,” columnists, like rock stars, “like to work at nothin’ all day.”

Wait a minute. That didn’t come out right.

In fact, reading this over, it’s likely that this whole column could use some work.

I know! I’ll sue myself. The actual damages might not amount to much, but given the amount of grief I’ll have to take from my editor, I should clean up on the pain and suffering.