Which is why I think we ought to sue to legally require that
concert promoters arrange the audience by height - short in the
front, tall in the back. The short people would be able to see
better. The tall people would still see just fine and, as a bonus,
be closer to the beer. In legal circles, this is called a win-win.
While we're on the subject of litigating against rockers, I think
we should sue bands for not playing our favorite songs. The bands
my son and I went to see, Wilco and Sonic Youth, don't have hits.
That's because their songs are not played on the radio. And that,
in turn, is because, as the saying goes, radio sucks.
But both bands have recorded songs that their fans know, love, and
expect to hear in concert. Wilco didn't perform "A Shot in the Arm"
or that other one, I can never remember its name but, trust me,
it's a big one as Wilco songs go.
It's possible, even likely, that Wilco didn't play these two songs
precisely because the songs are so beloved. That would be a very
alt thing to do. After all, bands constantly complain about having
to play their timeworn hits. But Wilco's songs, follow me on the
legal argument here, aren't hits. And written in the last few
years, they certainly aren't timeworn. Not like, say, a Beatles or
a Stones song. The Rolling Stones still play "Satisfaction" in
concert. Paul McCartney plays "I Want To Hold Your Hand." I saw
Chuck Berry last year and he played "Johnny B. Goode."
Ipso facto, it strikes me as entirely reasonable that fans
could sue bands for not playing their favorite songs in
If the Stones still play the hits, new bands should, too.
I rest my case.
On second thought, maybe I don't.