I was ecstatic when I heard that chess might be made an Olympic event. It's not that I am a Grandmaster. It's not even that I know how to play the game. (Which side's the queen set up on? What's the horsie called again?) It's that the TV will be riveting.
Like billions of viewers around the world, I will sit rapt at the edge of the sofa as the announcer narrates the action. "Let's watch this breathtaking move again," he'll say. "It took only four and a half hours for him to make it."
"Incredible," the color commentator will add. "It calls to mind the unforgettable 1978 match between Bratwurstski and Williamsburgman. Lightning fast, that match. One game, I recall, was completed in less than a month. Truly extraordinary."
"Honey," I'll call to my wife. "Hurry. Come in here. You've got to see this replay. Watch, watch."
"Okay, Klarishnokov reaches across the table," the first announcer says. "See his arm? Very confident. Very deliberate."
"Hmmm-hmmmm," agrees the color man.
"Suddenly, look, he picks up his knight. Boom. Just like that, knight to queen's bishop five. Oh, man, ya gotta love it!"
"A real showman, that Klarishnokov."
"Let's see it again in slow-mo."
Not taking anything away from chess, but you have to wonder what's next. Risk? Battleship? Connect Four? Me, I'm hoping it might be Twister. The Olympics are all about the physical, and there's nothing more physical than a good game of Twister.