I'm a what? That's not any way to speak to a good customer, and I may just ask to speak to your supervisor.


Why would you say that? I told you, I am not pretexting.

Call the authorities?

Go ahead. Call 'em. You can even put me on hold. See what I care.

[Pause. Messages for free checking and low-interest loans come on the line.]

Yes, I'm still here.

Ah-ha. Ah-ha. Yeah. Ah-ha.

A violation in some states?

BRAAAAAAGH! HOOO, HO, HO. HEEEE. OH. Jeez. Gimme a sec … I just need to … whaa, ha, ha … catch my breath. Okay. Okay. Okay. I, uh, no, I didn't know that a few states have a law against pretexting. Glad to hear it, though. A person impersonating another person to get information about that person is just a dastardly thing to do, and it should be against the law. I just wish this were one of those states.

So, anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. My bank account. Listen, I have some phone records here, if that would be helpful. Social Security number? Driver's license?

What do you mean where did I get them? They're mine.

No. I wouldn't happen to be one of those private eyes who get information for companies. Gee, lady.
I must tell you, I am really offended. I really am.

What's that?

No, I know. Of course you're just doing your job. And let me say, you are doing one heck of a job! I could use a few more like you, that's for sure. And, if I am not being too forward, let me add that you have a lovely voice.

You're welcome.

Ya know, I've always believed you can tell a lot about a person just by the tone of her voice. Take yours, for instance. The inflections indicate to me that you are a very intelligent person. You're not the type to be easily fooled, that's for sure.

No, no, no. I don’t say that to everyone, no ma’am. And, if I may say, I would like to add that, well, you sound pretty.

Oh, come on now. You’re just being modest. I can tell.

What’s that? The information about my bank account? Gee, I’d almost forgotten about that.

Six? Six gazillion trillion? Oh, that’s right. I ate out a lot last month.

You wouldn’t happen to have the account number, would ya?