reality programming, who thinks this stuff up — and who watches it? Neanderthals.

Given all this evidence, maybe that’s why not all scientists believe that contemporary humans are free of Neanderthal genes. Some studies, reports The Associated Press, “have suggested extensive interbreeding between the Neanderthals and modern humans.”

Me, I say, Duh! Humans will interbreed with anybody. Just check out a bar at closing time.

Course, I could be wrong about the existence of Neanderthal genes in Homo sapiens. Maybe Neanderthals and
humans didn’t go to dance parties together. Maybe I just want there to be a Neanderthal gene in humans so I’ll always have something to blame for such things as turning left from the right-hand lane and ordering two pastas at the same meal. Maybe I just want something to hide behind after one of those knuckle-scrapingly stupid actions when I think to myself, That wasn’t me.

On the other hand, I could be right. Maybe it really wasn’t me doing those things. Maybe it was my inner Neanderthal.

I hope so. Otherwise, what explanation do any of us have?