One thing about the English is that they have a way of constantly
being underestimated. Even the way they talk, with that singsongy
accent of theirs that makes them seem so quaint. I used to wonder
if the English really talked that way or if they just put that
accent on to make themselves seem smarter than everybody else.
Something about their overenunciation makes even the dumbest
Englishman seem smarter than, say, a Harvard-educated American.
(Have you noticed, by the way, how some Ivy Leaguers take on the
faintest lilt of an English accent?) But I have come to believe
that the English really do talk like that. How else do you explain
their achievements? Shakespeare? A onetime global empire? Their
ability to win World War II (granted, America helped - a lot)?
Still, when people think of fierce warriors, they think of the
Vikings or of barbarians. Big guys. Marauding types. Their
imaginations don't turn to, well, the English.
Clearly, then, the English are smarter than Americans. And one
thing they figured out is that hanging out playing electric guitar
is more healthful than going to the gym.
This can be viewed as nothing but good news, especially coming on
the heels of the reports from a few years ago that the French, too,
are healthier than Americans. Somehow, all that wine drinking works
more wonders for a body than all of that American dieting.
The inescapable conclusion, then, is that hanging out and drinking
is healthier than diet and exercise.
If more proof of this obvious truth is required, another scientific
report provides it in the conclusion that cancer prevention is
found in beer.
"Oregon State University researchers said a key ingredient in beer
may help prevent prostate cancer and enlargement," reads an
Associated Press article. "The scientists report hops has a
compound that inhibits cancer development."